Porn Is Normal Now · But Does That Make It Healthy?

Porn isn’t taboo anymore — it’s TED Talk–approved.
We’re told it’s healthy, empowering, and completely normal.
But if that’s true…
why do so many people feel emptier after watching?

In this episode of Think First, Jim Detjen unpacks the poetic truths and quiet gaslighting around modern porn culture. With calm curiosity and dry humor, we ask the questions no one wants to Google — about connection, numbness, and who really benefits from calling this progress.

Chapters

• 0:00 Questioning Porn as Empowerment
• 0:37 The Trail of Damage
• 1:02 Who Benefits from the Narrative?
• 1:54 Show Closing and Call to Action

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

I'm Jim Detchen, and this is Think First, the daily podcast that doesn't scream or sermonize. We just ask better questions. And today, we're going there. Because statistically speaking, you've watched it. A 2023 study from the Journal of Sex Research found that over 90% of men and 60% of women reported viewing porn in the last month. So, yeah, this one's personal. And if I'm in the 9% that hasn't, then either I'm an outlier or just very careful with my browser history. What happens when something is everywhere, but no one really talks about how it makes them feel? If porn is empowering, why does it often feel like emotional junk food? Great in the moment, kind of hollow after? If it's normal, why is it still taboo to bring up in real conversation? Why is it easier to talk about your taxes than your tab history? And who exactly benefits from calling it healthy while quietly profiting from your clicks? Somewhere along the way, porn stopped being taboo and started being TED Talk adjacent. It's no longer shameful. It's sex positive. It's not addiction. It's self-exploration. It's not loneliness. It's personal agency. And maybe some of that's true. But also, maybe something's off when connection comes with an algorithm and a cancellation policy. You can spend hours swiping through digital strangers and still feel like nobody's touched you in months. And that's not judgment. That's just reality quietly knocking. Look, we're being gaslit, told there's nothing wrong, that it's normal, healthy, empowering. And if it doesn't feel that way to you, well, then you're the problem. Too repressed, too religious, too uptight. That's how gaslighting works. It flips the discomfort back on you. But maybe you're not imagining it. Maybe the disconnect, the numbness, the shame, are signals, not defects. We're told this is the new normal. But if that's true, why do so many people feel numb, detached, or more alone after they consume it? Why are relationships breaking down not from cheating, but from comparison? Why are young men losing interest in actual sex while their dopamine's wired to a screen? And why are the people raising concern mocked as prudish, regressive, or somehow anti-freedom? When did asking questions become the red flag? Call it what you want, but any habit that leaves you emptier than you started probably isn't as empowering as it claims. If porn is just entertainment, why does it hold so much power over our time, our minds and our expectations? If it's just healthy, why do we consume it like a secret? So I'll leave you with this. You don't need all the answers, but if you're getting them from a search bar labeled stepmom, you might want to think again.